Tuesday, October 2, 2007
pleasant view
how come large boobs and hot legs and nice asses, for some reason, have magnetic effects? i mean, if you see large, plump and somewhat succulent looking breast, the eyes of an average guy finds it (the wonderful breasts) on its own and cant stop taking glimpses (for those with weak minds who lose control of their eyes easily, cant stop their eyes from staring at it). the same is true for long, sexy, sizzling legs. if a guy sees a girl wearing short shorts, he cant prevent himself from looking. and that doesnt stop there, he has to look at where the legs begin, which is the hot piece of ass (most of the time) that completes the magnificent sight. even if the guy doesnt mean to look, once his eyes detected it, most likely, his eyes wont be able to resist and would need to take a second glance. and then a third and a fourth and so on until the boobs or the legs or the ass is out of sight. these female body parts do have strong magnetic forces for some reason. wait, let me make it more accurate. these female body parts dont have magnetic forces per se, only some females possess or have the ability of attracting the male eyes and exercising some form of control over it. ive experienced it so many times and im still puzzled up to this day. its not i lose my mind, its just my eyes start to have a mind of its own. even if i try to distract myself and let my mind wander and float to a far away place (like the kingdom of dusts or a castle made of shards of glass. what you think about doesnt have to make sense, all you need is something weird enough to grab your attention temporarily, long enough for the magnetic force of the boob, ass and/or legs disappers), my eyes still find a way to look at it again. the next thing i know, im looking at the heavenly view, again and might be staring already. if its heavenly, why not look at it? because im a sinner and dont deserve to look at such a captivating sight. the more you look, you become more of a sinner. and besides, if people see you staring or even taking too many glimpses, people would find that sinful and really offensive. thats another thing i dont get with society and people. if women wear these short shorts and tight shirts, arent we suppose to look at them and appreciate the beauty that emanates from it? for some reason, society has trained guys to be embarassed to look too much or stare or glimpse too much at such hot and intensely attractive parts of the female body (which of course isnt true to all, maybe only to most guys, or just some). i mean, why wear a skirt and all day long you keep pulling it down? if youre not comfortable wearing it or worried guys would keep looking at your marvelous legs, dont wear it. like i said, those legs are like magnets. they attract male eyes. but then again, thats also dangerous because some guys just dont get it. guys can only look at it and nothing else unless permitted by the owner of the body part to do something more than just look. the clothing that exemplifies the magnificence of the legs, the breast or even the ass does not mean that guys can harass the owners of such wonderful female body parts (sorry if i use the term "body part", im not in the mood to think of a better term and besides, it sounds more "anatomical" and less sleazy). if the girl is worried guys might see her panties, then dont wear skirts that short in the first place if all day long you would worry about it. there was this girl in powerplant who wore such a short skirt and didnt worry if her panties can be seen. well, it turned out she was a lingerie model so she was comfortable with what she was wearing. did we stare? nope, we were too embarassed of course. but still, its hard not to admire her set of legs. too bad, we cant take a picture, that would be just too much.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
stop listening!
call me crazy because i might just be. its been weeks that ive suspected that people can hear my thoughts. its like everyone's a mind reader. here i am, sitting, minding my own business when some people talk to me and they talk to me about what im thinking. exactly what im thinking at that moment! example, im being quiet, not saying anything and i look at a person and i think of something im going to say or would say sometime later and that person suddenly looks at me and answers me as if i just said what i was thinking. ok, this happened only twice. coincidence most likely right? but it appeared to me during that time that they heard me and they didnt know i didnt speak because they werent looking at me.
the other instances were just people telling me stuff which coincided with what i was thinking earlier or a day ago or days ago which i didnt bring up. its like, they answer me even before i ask. like i said, im crazy. i think im paranoid. well, i am paranoid. i wont argue against that. my mind likes to play tricks on me. convinces me to believe things that a rational and sane person would shrug off easily for being absurd and extremely idiotic and silly.
the other instances were just people telling me stuff which coincided with what i was thinking earlier or a day ago or days ago which i didnt bring up. its like, they answer me even before i ask. like i said, im crazy. i think im paranoid. well, i am paranoid. i wont argue against that. my mind likes to play tricks on me. convinces me to believe things that a rational and sane person would shrug off easily for being absurd and extremely idiotic and silly.
rage here rage there
for some reason, i was filled with rage this morning. but of course, its all in my head. i really dont express the rage im feeling or else i would be imprisoned either in jail or in a mental institution (temporarily of course because once the rage subsides, im back to my harmless and sane, or almost sane, self). its like letting the incredible hulk loose and the only difference is that i dont grow those big muscles and dont turn green (or gray, if you want to be comic book geeky about it). its like having this tall guy breaking stuff and growling incoherent phrases and incomprehensible grunts (i mean, grunts can be comprehensible you know).
anyway, dont know where the rage came from. here i was in the library, reading assigned readings when all of a sudden, a surge of rage comes filling my...umm..senses? point is, im suddently filled with rage and of course hatred. its like i want to burn the building down. of course, i try to control it so that there wont be a manifestation of such violent anger. or potentially violent anger. its like i want to kill people indiscriminately just to blow off the so-called steam. i just want to go berserk just to release it. but of course, theres a time and place for that and im far from both of it. so i take a deep breath and force myself to relax. i try not to think of anything. so that was my morning. doing some breathing exercises because the rage keeps popping up from time to time.
maybe my body's psychic (whoa, i dont think ive ever heard this before. the mind is usually the clairvoyant part of man, and not the body). i mean, on the latter part of the day, i was so pissed. i was starving because i havent eaten for 9 hours. i got called and my recitation wasnt good. i was drained and tired and no longer absorbing anything from the class but the class just kept going and going. it was hard to commute because it was very late. i wasnt able to return the videos i rented which were already overdue and i saw some of those who work in the video store heading home (meaning, they just closed, probably not more than an hour before i saw them). when i ordered some food from mcdonalds, i had to wait for a few more minutes (it mattered because i was starving! fast food is suppose to be fast! is that too much to ask?). even with this very lousy and irritating day, i didnt feel the rage i felt earlier. it was a good thing because had i felt the rage during the latter part of the day, it would be harder to control. i would have gotten myself into a fight with a stranger. i could have pushed the guy in front of me off the moving jeepney while it was running on the elliptical road. i would have stood on the cashier counter of mcdonalds and kicked their cash registers. i could have elbowed the face of the guy sitting beside me. ok, maybe im exaggerating, except for the last one because i was really tempted to elbow his face just for the sake of releasing some anger. i mean, if my body was psychic and knew that im going to have a bad day, might as well get rid of the rage before i get really pissed due to legitimate reasons. i mean, its easier to feel the rage when there's nothing to be angry about because the rational side would be in full control of the situation. i was so pissed during the latter part of the day that i was muttering profanities during the class. of course not loud enough for people to hear, i hope. if the rage kicked in, i would have shouted and violently demanded that the class should be stopped because it was way beyond 830pm and its getting late. ok, maybe not violently demanded but rudely protested. not sure if the rage im feeling is a result of 10 years of not losing my temper. ok, thats another exaggeration. ive lost my temper from time to time and when i do, i cant stop myself from hitting things and throwing stuff. when i know i cant control my anger and i still have enough strength to control it, i sometimes pick something to destroy and go somewhere where ill be alone and release the anger. i remember picking up my badminton racket, going to my room and "mutilated" my racket by hitting the wall until my racket cant be used to hit anything. i sometimes punch my monitor when the internet connection is just so fucking intermittent. sorry for that PC monitor. good thing it didnt break. well, i didnt break the screen but eventually, with the number of times ive punched its screen, it had some internal damages, so it broke down last saturday. that is, if the diagnosis of the technician was correct. im tempted to buy a baseball bat so that i can use it to hit things when im pissed. and what i want to hit are side mirrors. ok, thats a bit expensive because i dont think i could get away with that. windshields would also be nice. or throwing tv sets from building windows.
anyway, dont know where the rage came from. here i was in the library, reading assigned readings when all of a sudden, a surge of rage comes filling my...umm..senses? point is, im suddently filled with rage and of course hatred. its like i want to burn the building down. of course, i try to control it so that there wont be a manifestation of such violent anger. or potentially violent anger. its like i want to kill people indiscriminately just to blow off the so-called steam. i just want to go berserk just to release it. but of course, theres a time and place for that and im far from both of it. so i take a deep breath and force myself to relax. i try not to think of anything. so that was my morning. doing some breathing exercises because the rage keeps popping up from time to time.
maybe my body's psychic (whoa, i dont think ive ever heard this before. the mind is usually the clairvoyant part of man, and not the body). i mean, on the latter part of the day, i was so pissed. i was starving because i havent eaten for 9 hours. i got called and my recitation wasnt good. i was drained and tired and no longer absorbing anything from the class but the class just kept going and going. it was hard to commute because it was very late. i wasnt able to return the videos i rented which were already overdue and i saw some of those who work in the video store heading home (meaning, they just closed, probably not more than an hour before i saw them). when i ordered some food from mcdonalds, i had to wait for a few more minutes (it mattered because i was starving! fast food is suppose to be fast! is that too much to ask?). even with this very lousy and irritating day, i didnt feel the rage i felt earlier. it was a good thing because had i felt the rage during the latter part of the day, it would be harder to control. i would have gotten myself into a fight with a stranger. i could have pushed the guy in front of me off the moving jeepney while it was running on the elliptical road. i would have stood on the cashier counter of mcdonalds and kicked their cash registers. i could have elbowed the face of the guy sitting beside me. ok, maybe im exaggerating, except for the last one because i was really tempted to elbow his face just for the sake of releasing some anger. i mean, if my body was psychic and knew that im going to have a bad day, might as well get rid of the rage before i get really pissed due to legitimate reasons. i mean, its easier to feel the rage when there's nothing to be angry about because the rational side would be in full control of the situation. i was so pissed during the latter part of the day that i was muttering profanities during the class. of course not loud enough for people to hear, i hope. if the rage kicked in, i would have shouted and violently demanded that the class should be stopped because it was way beyond 830pm and its getting late. ok, maybe not violently demanded but rudely protested. not sure if the rage im feeling is a result of 10 years of not losing my temper. ok, thats another exaggeration. ive lost my temper from time to time and when i do, i cant stop myself from hitting things and throwing stuff. when i know i cant control my anger and i still have enough strength to control it, i sometimes pick something to destroy and go somewhere where ill be alone and release the anger. i remember picking up my badminton racket, going to my room and "mutilated" my racket by hitting the wall until my racket cant be used to hit anything. i sometimes punch my monitor when the internet connection is just so fucking intermittent. sorry for that PC monitor. good thing it didnt break. well, i didnt break the screen but eventually, with the number of times ive punched its screen, it had some internal damages, so it broke down last saturday. that is, if the diagnosis of the technician was correct. im tempted to buy a baseball bat so that i can use it to hit things when im pissed. and what i want to hit are side mirrors. ok, thats a bit expensive because i dont think i could get away with that. windshields would also be nice. or throwing tv sets from building windows.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
sausage fest and pretty chicks
one thing i like with riding jeeps is the chance of getting to ride with a pretty girl. i prefer not to sit beside them so i can look at them and admire their beauty. im not a pervert. it just so happens that its nice to look at a pretty face while riding the jeep and waiting to get to your destination. i mean, there really isnt much going outside or there's not much to see outside the jeepney. there might be a scenery of some sort but ive seen it a million times. its a daily route after all. why the crap would i enjoy looking outside the jeepney. the only time that would happen if theres something unusual that occurred and that doesnt happen often. thats probably why drivers tend to slow down and try to take long looks at car crashes. not even car crashes, even minor accidents like fender benders. so it worsen traffic flows because not only is there an obstruction on the road, the passing cars slow down near the accident area.
anyway, i get disappointed when i ride a jeepney filled with guys. i call it a sausage fest borrowing the term from the movie Eurotrip. thats why sometimes i dont ride a jeepney when i see from afar that its mostly guys. the short trip wont be fun. of course, an exception would be is when im in a hurry so i wont be that choosy. and when i get to ride a jeepney filled with women, i quickly scan for the pretty one. if there is none, at least im riding with females or sitting beside one. i would rather sit beside a girl than a guy of course. not because im homophobic but cmon if you think about it and if given a chance to choose, would a guy choose to sit beside a guy or a girl? isnt it human nature for a guy to prefer to sit beside a girl than have a guy keep brushing himself against you? ive experienced that and it irritated me a lot. i wanted to say, what the crap is wrong with you? why do you keep brushing against me? are you gay or something? but of course, if that was a girl, i wont complain. i wont feel awkward. the same thing can be said when the person sitting beside you is falling asleep. you wont mind if it was a girl that occassionally rest her head on your shoulder but if it was a guy, you'd probably move your shoulder away.
anyway, i get disappointed when i ride a jeepney filled with guys. i call it a sausage fest borrowing the term from the movie Eurotrip. thats why sometimes i dont ride a jeepney when i see from afar that its mostly guys. the short trip wont be fun. of course, an exception would be is when im in a hurry so i wont be that choosy. and when i get to ride a jeepney filled with women, i quickly scan for the pretty one. if there is none, at least im riding with females or sitting beside one. i would rather sit beside a girl than a guy of course. not because im homophobic but cmon if you think about it and if given a chance to choose, would a guy choose to sit beside a guy or a girl? isnt it human nature for a guy to prefer to sit beside a girl than have a guy keep brushing himself against you? ive experienced that and it irritated me a lot. i wanted to say, what the crap is wrong with you? why do you keep brushing against me? are you gay or something? but of course, if that was a girl, i wont complain. i wont feel awkward. the same thing can be said when the person sitting beside you is falling asleep. you wont mind if it was a girl that occassionally rest her head on your shoulder but if it was a guy, you'd probably move your shoulder away.
making things less creepy
i saw a creepy old guy last week when i went to megamall. the old guy eyed me up! it creeped me out because i thought he was following me. i mean, i was there minding my own business reading the movie schedule on a bulletin board of some sort when this old guy stood beside me and looked at me from head to toe and just kept doing that while i was reading the schedule. i walked away and wandered around the mall and minutes later, i saw him again looking at me. this time i was on a different floor and ive been walking for quite some time already. so i thought, was he following me? why? i dont know him, i made sure of that. i took a good look and im sure ive never seen him before. so why is he looking at me like that? is he checking me out? i hope not.
so while walking away from the mall and heading toward the MRT just to get away, i tried to think of possibilities why that old guy was doing that eyeing me up thing. trying to rationalize stuff so i wont be creeped out. well, having the fertile imagination, wait, not really fertile but crazy imagination i have, two theories of weird origins made the situation less creepy.
first theory: he came from the future! i mean, what if this old guy was sent from the future to make sure that i dont stay in the mall. he looked like he was making sure i am who i am by looking at me like that. its like, "is he the guy im supposed to talk to or warn"? maybe he came 50 years from the future and probably if he knows me from the future, ive aged a lot. so he was trying make sure that he didnt interact with the wrong guy. so maybe his instruction was that to make me go away from the mall. if it was, then he accomplished his mission by creeping me out. maybe he was told that im a bit homophobic. so by acting like a creepy old man, i would be freaked out and head as far as away from the mall. why should i not be in megamall? maybe im going to be killed by some crazy serial killer who hates tall guys wandering in malls. or what if he's a bad guy from the future who scared me away from the mall so i wont meet the girl im supposed to fall in love with. crap! if thats the case, he also accomplished his mission. another possibility is that he was supposed to tell me a message from the future and was making sure im the right guy. well, if that was his mission, then he failed because he creeped me out before he could tell me the message. but i doubt that. if it was me who would send a person to tell me a message, i would pick a hot girl with the message written on one of her boobs. what if they ran out of hot chicks in the future and the only one available was the creepy old guy? well, then that future is not worth living in and i would probably be having a miserable time. maybe thats why he sent the old guy back, so that future wont happen. shit. i just ruined the future then. well, ruined it for straight guys. i think straight guys are a dying breed.
second theory: the sixth sense! i see dead people and the first dead guy i see is this creepy old man. the reason he was eyeing me up is because he cant believe i can see him and he's making sure i can see him. but why didnt he tell me something or just ask. if he's really a ghost and saw a living person capable of seeing him, i dont think he would be speechless. i mean, i should be the one speechless if i see dead people. also, the people around him dont seem to be paying attention to him, as if he was invisible. but then again, people in malls just mind their own business.
so why are these theories less creepy when the first talks about the future and the other is about seeing dead people? well, maybe because they're amusing and less probable and unrealistic than facing the possibility that the old guy was really checking me out. i mean, i would choose the two theories i made up than think that the old guy looked me from head to toe just because he likes to look at me like that. thats creepy.
so while walking away from the mall and heading toward the MRT just to get away, i tried to think of possibilities why that old guy was doing that eyeing me up thing. trying to rationalize stuff so i wont be creeped out. well, having the fertile imagination, wait, not really fertile but crazy imagination i have, two theories of weird origins made the situation less creepy.
first theory: he came from the future! i mean, what if this old guy was sent from the future to make sure that i dont stay in the mall. he looked like he was making sure i am who i am by looking at me like that. its like, "is he the guy im supposed to talk to or warn"? maybe he came 50 years from the future and probably if he knows me from the future, ive aged a lot. so he was trying make sure that he didnt interact with the wrong guy. so maybe his instruction was that to make me go away from the mall. if it was, then he accomplished his mission by creeping me out. maybe he was told that im a bit homophobic. so by acting like a creepy old man, i would be freaked out and head as far as away from the mall. why should i not be in megamall? maybe im going to be killed by some crazy serial killer who hates tall guys wandering in malls. or what if he's a bad guy from the future who scared me away from the mall so i wont meet the girl im supposed to fall in love with. crap! if thats the case, he also accomplished his mission. another possibility is that he was supposed to tell me a message from the future and was making sure im the right guy. well, if that was his mission, then he failed because he creeped me out before he could tell me the message. but i doubt that. if it was me who would send a person to tell me a message, i would pick a hot girl with the message written on one of her boobs. what if they ran out of hot chicks in the future and the only one available was the creepy old guy? well, then that future is not worth living in and i would probably be having a miserable time. maybe thats why he sent the old guy back, so that future wont happen. shit. i just ruined the future then. well, ruined it for straight guys. i think straight guys are a dying breed.
second theory: the sixth sense! i see dead people and the first dead guy i see is this creepy old man. the reason he was eyeing me up is because he cant believe i can see him and he's making sure i can see him. but why didnt he tell me something or just ask. if he's really a ghost and saw a living person capable of seeing him, i dont think he would be speechless. i mean, i should be the one speechless if i see dead people. also, the people around him dont seem to be paying attention to him, as if he was invisible. but then again, people in malls just mind their own business.
so why are these theories less creepy when the first talks about the future and the other is about seeing dead people? well, maybe because they're amusing and less probable and unrealistic than facing the possibility that the old guy was really checking me out. i mean, i would choose the two theories i made up than think that the old guy looked me from head to toe just because he likes to look at me like that. thats creepy.
fight club syndrome
im starting to feel like edward norton in fight club. i feel like im pulling tricks on me and there's a tyler durden lurking. i havent had sleepless nights for quite some time and so im not an insomniac lately. but what if thats not really true. i mean, am i even sure if im awake right now?
i dont know. lately, ive been tempted to ask people if ive instructed them to not tell me things that ive been doing lately. the same way when edward norton started asking members of the fight club not to talk to him but answer only to tyler durden. of course, this is paranoia. pure and simple. i dont even know why i feel that way. there are mornings i would wake up feeling weird and very tired. i remember the things ive done before i sleep but how sure am i that i really did sleep? or that my memories are real and not altered by a split personality? i havent had memory gaps for years. what if a split personality is filling it in with fake memories? i mean, my other personalities have been quiet for months now. i mean, there's not much mood swings lately.
also, ive been withdrawing from people lately. if that is true then people wont have a clue if im up to something weird or doing something weird. so asking things from them wont be much help.
its really hard to know or realize if youve gone mad. how could you possibly determine if you're crazy right? if you still have a sense of sanity, the fact that your crazy means that the insane side has taken over. if it has taken over, then sanity would have a hard time taking control again because insanity itself is seen to be something very irrational. how can a rational sane mind fight the irrational when it follows no rules? by forcing conformity? i mean, thats the safest approach sanity can adopt, i think. just follow the rules of conformity and socially acceptable practices. you cant go wrong with that right? an insane mind cant possibly exist in a strictly conformist world. as logn as sanity can force this in the insane mind, control can be regained by sanity. problem is, what if that is exactly what insanity wants sanity to think. that insanity is making sanity to believe that the person is living in the world and conforming to its norms when in fact, its all make believe or all in the head. its like making sanity think that the world is moving when reality the world is standing still. if insanity is in control, it can pull off all the illusion and different forms of deception it possibly can. it is an erratic force of irrationality. but isnt the fact that im writing this means im sane. well yes if i really am writing this and someone from the real and sane world can read this.
i dont know. lately, ive been tempted to ask people if ive instructed them to not tell me things that ive been doing lately. the same way when edward norton started asking members of the fight club not to talk to him but answer only to tyler durden. of course, this is paranoia. pure and simple. i dont even know why i feel that way. there are mornings i would wake up feeling weird and very tired. i remember the things ive done before i sleep but how sure am i that i really did sleep? or that my memories are real and not altered by a split personality? i havent had memory gaps for years. what if a split personality is filling it in with fake memories? i mean, my other personalities have been quiet for months now. i mean, there's not much mood swings lately.
also, ive been withdrawing from people lately. if that is true then people wont have a clue if im up to something weird or doing something weird. so asking things from them wont be much help.
its really hard to know or realize if youve gone mad. how could you possibly determine if you're crazy right? if you still have a sense of sanity, the fact that your crazy means that the insane side has taken over. if it has taken over, then sanity would have a hard time taking control again because insanity itself is seen to be something very irrational. how can a rational sane mind fight the irrational when it follows no rules? by forcing conformity? i mean, thats the safest approach sanity can adopt, i think. just follow the rules of conformity and socially acceptable practices. you cant go wrong with that right? an insane mind cant possibly exist in a strictly conformist world. as logn as sanity can force this in the insane mind, control can be regained by sanity. problem is, what if that is exactly what insanity wants sanity to think. that insanity is making sanity to believe that the person is living in the world and conforming to its norms when in fact, its all make believe or all in the head. its like making sanity think that the world is moving when reality the world is standing still. if insanity is in control, it can pull off all the illusion and different forms of deception it possibly can. it is an erratic force of irrationality. but isnt the fact that im writing this means im sane. well yes if i really am writing this and someone from the real and sane world can read this.
Friday, July 6, 2007
another rage entry?
ever since this semester started, i dont recall an instance where i was glad to be home. everytime i got home, i wished i was somewhere else, like studying in the library. thats why i dont eat my dinners at home from tuesday to thursday. i just dont want to go home or stay home. thats also why im staying longer in the library, opting to study there as long as i could. why dont i want to go home? well, its still a home and not just a house. it just so happens that i dont like it. i just end up getting pissed the moment i enter it. actually, the only place i like in it is my room, where i usually lock myself up. other than my room, the PC is the next best thing in it. since highschool, ive wanted to have a place of my own but im too lazy to do something about it. if i didnt go to lawschool, might have saved some money to move in a cheap apartment.
Monday, July 2, 2007
lost again!
tired of losing battles with myself! Eve6 would probably say, "change your mind!" or change your state of mind. it isnt that easy! especially when my mind has the advantage over me. it just sucks. i mean, here i was trying to improve myself and when im drained and trying to recharge myself to continue my momentum on studying habitually, my mind pulls a fast one on me. since im too drained to resist the intense feeling of laziness and the headaches my mind is throwing at me, i gave up and just slept, hoping by the time i wake up, my mind would be a little clearer. when i got home, still feeling very drained. slept again. hours later, my mind seems to have a good hold on me, i cant force myself to do anything but sleep. not that i dont want to study (actually that's what i want to do right now), but try as i might, (and i did try several times), my mind either makes me feel like i took a sleeping pill, or it hovers somewhere else, meaning i cant focus on what im doing. and right now, my "spidey" sense is tingling. ok, not tingling and not even spidey sense. i dont even know what it is. well, its a rash. a rash that appears on the same spot on my arm from time to time and varies in size. i dont know what it means or what it signifies everytime it appears. but its there now and its itchy. actually, its not a rash, im sorry, its more of an insect bite. and like i said, it appears from time to time and its on the same exact spot on my arm. it wasnt there when i switched on the PC but its there after i talked on the phone. i just dont know why an insect bite looking rash appears and disappears. there's got to be a reason. anyway, im digressing, going back to losing battles to myself. it sucks! im really getting tired of it. other people would say i just lack of discipline. maybe they are right but try telling that to the ones who takes charge of my brain whenever im drained. i mean, thats the only time the inmates run the asylum, when im too weak to protest and counter their stealth attacks. its a never ending conflict inside my head.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
pick up line
not sure if someone already thought of this but my line involves saying that im an exorcist. why? cmon, cant guess why? hint: what enters a guy's mind if he sees a sizzling hot chick. or what does he want to do.
Friday, June 29, 2007
fucked up. thats what you are.
this is turning into the blog of a rageaholic. actually, this blog started as that kind of blog.
anyway im sleepy and pissed. im pissed with some people's lack of understanding or perception that they are fucking different. what's pisses me off more is that they cant fucking accept it. why? because they fear rejection. so they strive to claim they're normal when they cant substantiate their claims. thats bullshit driven life! that's the reason why they are being rejected in the first place! they refuse to fucking accept things and insist on making a fool of themselves. they are even fucking sensitive of the most non-sensical stuff. hey, get a fucking life! because the way you are right now is annoying and youre just becoming a social liability. social liability because you aint got no significance in this goddamn world with that kind of twisted state of mind. the set of beliefs you have are yours and your alone. i have no problem with that as long as you dont fucking insist that its the belief everyone else should have! who the fuck do you think you are? im only going to listen to you if you are backed-up with facts or really attuned to the social pulse. heck, you dont even have a clue of how the society thinks dont you? what more on how society works! it obvious with the way you think and the way you act. you wont stand a chance in the real world boy! the fact that you think you're ready to face the world even with no experience or first hand knowledge, actually, not even the faintest knowledge of what reality is outside your goddamn home makes you a helpless, childish, insignificant boy! its not the age that makes a man. if you cant beat yourself and get out of the delusional state of mind you're in, then dont come complaining to me. ive had my share of demons in my head, and im still constantly having battles with them. but you dont see me pretending to be normal. i acknowledge it. i face it. i try to overcome my fears and not hide in some self-induced dreamworld or world of pretend then insist that other people should follow suit.
anyway im sleepy and pissed. im pissed with some people's lack of understanding or perception that they are fucking different. what's pisses me off more is that they cant fucking accept it. why? because they fear rejection. so they strive to claim they're normal when they cant substantiate their claims. thats bullshit driven life! that's the reason why they are being rejected in the first place! they refuse to fucking accept things and insist on making a fool of themselves. they are even fucking sensitive of the most non-sensical stuff. hey, get a fucking life! because the way you are right now is annoying and youre just becoming a social liability. social liability because you aint got no significance in this goddamn world with that kind of twisted state of mind. the set of beliefs you have are yours and your alone. i have no problem with that as long as you dont fucking insist that its the belief everyone else should have! who the fuck do you think you are? im only going to listen to you if you are backed-up with facts or really attuned to the social pulse. heck, you dont even have a clue of how the society thinks dont you? what more on how society works! it obvious with the way you think and the way you act. you wont stand a chance in the real world boy! the fact that you think you're ready to face the world even with no experience or first hand knowledge, actually, not even the faintest knowledge of what reality is outside your goddamn home makes you a helpless, childish, insignificant boy! its not the age that makes a man. if you cant beat yourself and get out of the delusional state of mind you're in, then dont come complaining to me. ive had my share of demons in my head, and im still constantly having battles with them. but you dont see me pretending to be normal. i acknowledge it. i face it. i try to overcome my fears and not hide in some self-induced dreamworld or world of pretend then insist that other people should follow suit.
Friday, June 22, 2007
again
did i just say i hate it here? to reiterate, i fuckin hate it here. and bayantel, fuck you! what the fuck is wrong with your internet service! nice customer service is not equal to good internet service
offends the senses...well, offensive to the ears
like i said, one reason i keep my mouth shut is because i have nothing good to say because i really have a very arrogant mind. another reason i keep my mouth shut is because, this is related to what ive said, the things i say offends people, like my uber green mindedness. it would appear that the only thing i always think about it sex or something most would consider as sexual harassment. its not like i could say a compliment to a girl with a nice shirt by saying, "hey, nice shirt, i like the way it hugs your tits". i mean, it does look nice and it also makes her tits look good too. but people would find that offensive, especially when said out loud. its not like im telling her that her tits are perfect for some nice breast fucking. its just a statement of fact that with the shirt she's wearing, the only thing a guy can see or focus on is her wonderful, nicely shaped breasts! that made the shirt nice. at least she knows what some guys think. wait, thats not green mindedness, thats just an offensive comment that could send me to jail! what the crap am i talking about.
anyway, maybe the next time someone asks me why im so quiet, i would reply "fuck! cunt! slut! cocksucking motherfucker who screws any horny son of a bitch and licks the pussies of drunk whores!" and if they get offended, i would add "thats why im quiet, my concept of freedom of speech is not the same as what you people are willing to hear. my concept is the one civilized people want to regulate. the moment i say what i think, they say that's where the limits of the freedom of speech begins." i agree with them but unfortunately, i do have a very dirty mind so i better control my filthy mouth. ooh, filthy.
anyway, maybe the next time someone asks me why im so quiet, i would reply "fuck! cunt! slut! cocksucking motherfucker who screws any horny son of a bitch and licks the pussies of drunk whores!" and if they get offended, i would add "thats why im quiet, my concept of freedom of speech is not the same as what you people are willing to hear. my concept is the one civilized people want to regulate. the moment i say what i think, they say that's where the limits of the freedom of speech begins." i agree with them but unfortunately, i do have a very dirty mind so i better control my filthy mouth. ooh, filthy.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
arrogant? yeah right
ive been told a couple of times that im an arrogant jerk. Ha! they havent seen me in my full blown arrogant mode. if they already think im arrogant, well, they wont be able to take what i am when i dont try to control myself. i mean, im always exerting some self-control and they dont even sense that? and the reason im arrogant or very arrogant towards some people is that because, maybe, just maybe, they are worth treating like trash! now, thats arrogant, right? not yet. what made them trash is because they dont recognize greatness. that greatness is right in front of them! they are stubborn, ignorant and clueless idiots who think they should be treated like i am their equal or that we are equals. ha! i may have stopped seeing myself as a superior being but i havent abandoned the fact that there are inferior people that walk this God forsaken planet. and if these inferior people dont know how to improve themselves and evolve, then they should be treated like trash. because that is what they fuckin are. and i dont like to be bothered by these useless creatures who assumed a human like form.
now, that's just annoyingly arrogant right? see, if they think ive shown them arrogance, then well, they will just have to either keep up with it or stop talking to me. im doing the best i can not to crush people by saying what i really think. that is one reason i keep my mouth shut, because i dont have anything good to say.
now, that's just annoyingly arrogant right? see, if they think ive shown them arrogance, then well, they will just have to either keep up with it or stop talking to me. im doing the best i can not to crush people by saying what i really think. that is one reason i keep my mouth shut, because i dont have anything good to say.
need sleep
its been what? two weeks? two weeks of sleeping around 2am or 3am. need to sleep more! its making me sicker in the head, fucking up my already fucked up sense of existence!
jessica alba is just sizzling hot
jessica alba is so hot! i dont understand what makes her hot but does it matter? well, i was thinking a few days ago that if someone looked like jessica alba, it just not the same. even if she looks prettier, its not jessica alba. there's just something about her...or what she has become. i mean, i first saw her (or noticed her) in Idle Hands (because i didnt know she was in the movie Never Been Kissed), and she wasnt that hot. she was hot but not as sizzling hot as today. she's so hot, if she had children today (cant say if she will be hot forever) i wont be surprised if her own son falls in love with her or her own daughter becomes a lesbian. i know its disturbing and jessica alba would probably be scared to have children if that is likely to happen but im just saying there's something different with jessica alba's hotness. i would have posted a pic of her but there's just so many nice pics of her, i find it hard not to post a lot of them.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
definition of terms
i slept around 4am and woke up around 1030am. anyway, here's a few nice words.
drive-by shooting: the act of taking a picture while driving a car, especially while driving at high speeds.
gut-instinct: the habit of tucking one's stomach to hide it. people who do this usually have large bellies or a slight beer belly
drive-by shooting: the act of taking a picture while driving a car, especially while driving at high speeds.
gut-instinct: the habit of tucking one's stomach to hide it. people who do this usually have large bellies or a slight beer belly
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
flash of beige
its past midnight on a tuesday morning...very early morning. was complaining a while ago im sober again (its a monday night and im sober! fuck, i miss the good ol days when i can drink to my heart's content...well, until im too drunk to keep myself awake).
anyway, something flashed in my head a few seconds ago. a nice piece of ass wearing this sexy beige panties. weird part is, when it flashed in my head, i had this feeling of familiarity with that ass with the beige panties on. it is as if, ive seen it before up close, real close. how close? about a foot away from my face. but i cant remember seeing that hot panty covered ass before. why the feeling of familiarity as if it happened before? maybe i need to go to sleep.
anyway, something flashed in my head a few seconds ago. a nice piece of ass wearing this sexy beige panties. weird part is, when it flashed in my head, i had this feeling of familiarity with that ass with the beige panties on. it is as if, ive seen it before up close, real close. how close? about a foot away from my face. but i cant remember seeing that hot panty covered ass before. why the feeling of familiarity as if it happened before? maybe i need to go to sleep.
Friday, March 30, 2007
problem is...
Seems like ive got lots of problems to think about at the moment. im doing the waiting game again.
anyway, another problem is, i want to be a leader but i prevent myself from assuming any such position. so, no matter how much i would like to lead, i just have to force myself to be just a member of group. why? its easier to be just a member (meaning, the lazy ass part of me wins). but i would like to lead because i like to get things done in an efficient and effective manner. i want to create and run a well-oiled machinery!
the reason i give in to the part of myself who just want to be a member is because if i become a leader, i want absolute loyalty and compliance. i dont want to be questioned and i dont tolerate dissenters (with the exception of asking for their dissent, besides, i always give options...but giving options is an illusion).
so, im really more of a totalitarian. i demand the trust of those who want me to lead them, and not doubt my judgment. but of course, when i lead, i make sure i know what people want from me, what they expect me to do, my powers and its limits. also, i must know my members' capabilities and limits and potential. that ive been entrusted to run the group and do the tasks as efficiently and effectively as possible. that's how i like to do things. but, people dont like a dictator right? besides, sometimes i cant expect the group to run at the same pace as i am, so ill just end up disappointed (so im a bit of a slave-driver sometimes). so better just stay in the backseat and allow someone else to run the show. people want democracy, people want freedom. i want them too, but i think a little bit of dictatorship is good sometimes. because there are some who are just plain undisciplined and those who deserve no mercy.
anyway, another problem is, i want to be a leader but i prevent myself from assuming any such position. so, no matter how much i would like to lead, i just have to force myself to be just a member of group. why? its easier to be just a member (meaning, the lazy ass part of me wins). but i would like to lead because i like to get things done in an efficient and effective manner. i want to create and run a well-oiled machinery!
the reason i give in to the part of myself who just want to be a member is because if i become a leader, i want absolute loyalty and compliance. i dont want to be questioned and i dont tolerate dissenters (with the exception of asking for their dissent, besides, i always give options...but giving options is an illusion).
so, im really more of a totalitarian. i demand the trust of those who want me to lead them, and not doubt my judgment. but of course, when i lead, i make sure i know what people want from me, what they expect me to do, my powers and its limits. also, i must know my members' capabilities and limits and potential. that ive been entrusted to run the group and do the tasks as efficiently and effectively as possible. that's how i like to do things. but, people dont like a dictator right? besides, sometimes i cant expect the group to run at the same pace as i am, so ill just end up disappointed (so im a bit of a slave-driver sometimes). so better just stay in the backseat and allow someone else to run the show. people want democracy, people want freedom. i want them too, but i think a little bit of dictatorship is good sometimes. because there are some who are just plain undisciplined and those who deserve no mercy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)