been a decade? decade of what? decade of saying: "God, im sorry but i hate it here! when can i leave? im tired of this life and this place, this planet. im tired of everything."
but i know God knows, that deep in my heart, there's something small, a small part of me deep within, saying, "maybe things wont be that bad tomorrow". that small part is like a trace amount of optimism in a pessimistic person. its a needle in a haystack thing, obviously, the needle is optimism and the haystack is pessimism. but its not about finding optimism within pessimism but knowing its there. it may not be seen but it can be felt. it can prick anyone if someone accidentally comes across it. and the fact its there makes a whole lot of difference.
so what's the point of this entry? even if i've been chanting this...this...whatever you call what i said on the first paragraph, as long as there's a part of me that's hoping, i remain human and must stay here. this where humans belong. ok, im just throwing underdeveloped ideas. sorry, its 3am in the morning.
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