the problem with me is that im less human than the average human being. i dont have as much irrational tendencies as most humans. im too rational to function normally. its the mistakes or errors that i make that make me human and probably not much else. i dont have that passion for stuff, sympathy or compassion for other people and my ability to love is really more of something still rooted on what's rational. ive been criticized of being too serious and being an overthinker. im a very bored person because my life got no surprises. i rely heavily on reason and logic that its automatic for me to try to determine the most probable outcomes or the logical conclusion out of almost every situation hence destroying whatever surprise there might be simply because im not a fan of uncertainty and surprises make me feel stupid because it makes me appear that i had no idea of what's happening around me. and i just said a very long sentence. i try to be objective as much as possible and become subjective when i think there's a need to be subjective. im easily filled with hate and hate is an emotion more based on reason unlike love which is harder to explain. so im really more of a mechanical being constantly engaged in thought processes. the only thing that makes my existence non-mechanical is my belief in God.
the interesting thing with what i just stated is that it only holds true to my current state of mind. i guess out of greed, of wanting too much, even wanting to become more than just me, i try to become everything i like.
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