pop goes the weasel

i might be restraining myself too much. i always try to control everything i do and everything that i say. lately, ive been suffering from sleepless nights and very violent dreams. and there are instances where REM atonia fails and i lose the motor inhibition during the REM stage of my sleep. one time i dreamt of shouting at someone for interrupting me while i was talking only to wake up acting out what i was just dreaming about with one hand pointing in the dark to where the person i was shouting at was supposed to be (im inherently a dictator with a very short temper. the only reason i like democracy is because im not in power. it sucks to be in a dictatorship and be at the powerless end of the system). fortunately, despite the REM atonia failure, it didnt restore the use of my vocal chords or i would have been heard shouting in the middle of the night. this is why i always keep my door closed and locked while im asleep. its for everybody's safety. maybe i should loosen up a bit? nah. i think i would rather snap. i find the abruptness in it appealing.