Tuesday, August 13, 2013

i just want the pain to go away

i think the first step is stop caring. stop caring absolutely.

sooner or later, youre going to get tired of lying to yourself. of convincing yourself otherwise. youre going to break. its only a matter of time. not because youre getting better at hiding it means its not getting worse each day. you can't contain God in a finite vessel. youve corrupted the most beautiful creation that ever existed and it will eat you up, lead to the disintegration of your being. Tristan, you said youre ready to pay for the rest of your life for this wrong decision. You can make all your backup plans to make life bearable but in the end, i know you know how things will be. it will be much worse than the sins that haunt you. You came here to write something else but ended up having me instead and im writing an entirely different message to remind you of what you realized today. you cant even put a leash on us anymore. the thing is, you dont listen. and you never will. i dont know why im even bothering to talk to you when i know im not even in the position to change your mind. no one is. not even God. that is why im not sorry to see you live the life youve chosen. im tired. i give up. you can convince yourself all you want that youre built to be alone. i dont care anymore.

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