its all about the sex. always about it. tiring shit. thats why i avoid it if i can. it changes people. or make women crazy clingy. or maybe its my weird personality? in any case...craziness occurs

According to my tablet, life as i enjoyed it stopped on 21 april 2013. That is according to my tablet. My phone would provide a much later date. Anyway, im back to my old life. The change i implemented september last year didnt work out for me. Sad to say, i guess i should embrace the fact im meant to break hearts and not entitled to anything serious and meaningful. Yeah. Im at it again. Continuing where i left off last year. Thats the only way anyone deals with a shitty life. Ruin other peoples lives because you just dont give a shit. Ok. Maybe not ruin. Just dont give a shit about other people, especially their feelings.

 So today, or yesterday, (1) i ignored text messages from a girl thats been texting me almost on a daily basis asking how i am and when im free to go out with her. And the last time i saw her, she said im almost like a boyfriend to her. Owwkaaay. Thats a very good reason not to see her again.

 (2) Then, i dropped by to another girl's place unannounced. She wasnt happy to see me because she knows were just using each other to ignore and get by with our shitty lives and shes starting to get tired of the set up. And also because i make her feel i dont want to be with her but shes my only option. For tonight. (3) As for the third girl, she wants me to go out with her and her friends. Im done with that shit. The only way she can convince me to go out with her and her friends is if her friend is as hot as her and going out means a three way. Unfortunately, she and her friends arent wild. Hence, my reply, "im a bit busy at the moment"

Im accummulating bad karma again? So what? As if my life can get any better than this? The best it can offer is money. Lots and lots of money.

when youre at the bottom, anything, and i mean anything is a good fucking idea. Blow your money away! Thats a good idea. You dont have a good future anyway. Dont have safe sex! Thats boring. Accidents happen anyway. At least you get a kid after nine months but you cant feed that kid because youre busy not planning your life and gambling your money away. I guess it is possible for me to make that phone call asking for advice whether to bail out on a knocked up chick. Well, this is where life pushed me.

 I would have wanted to be a nice and happy person, someone who wont bail out on a knocked up chick because i love her, but life made me remember why i should never trust women. And love is for idiots. So...i wont even say sorry to these collateral damage girls in my goal to be heartless again. Their pain is my gain. Wow. And i didnt feel my heart quiver with what ive just said. Getting colder by the minute. I am winning this war.